Women..

This being the exam season, I was solving a mock aptitude test. One of the questions was, 'Choose the word from the following options, that is closest in meaning to the word 'undecipherable.' I knew the answer even before going through the various options. Hence, this write up.

Disclaimer : All points below are based on first, second or third hand experiences of this writer throughout the course of the last 20 odd years. Any resemblance to those who are reading this is purely incidental.

Undecipherable it is:

* To have more than one 'best' friends.. ( How on earth is that possible?)

* To answer 'Shopping!!!' nine out of ten times when countered with the question 'What plans for the week end' ( I understand there are exceptions or exceptional women who do not fall under this category.)

* To be able to talk on the phone, type over chat, read something, while listening to music at the background. ( How do you people do this..? I would end up blowing up brains off..)

* To feel happy and even contended at times after spending few thousands in a shopping mall. ( Isn't this what we call 'The irony of life?')

* To think it is necessary to have at least a dozen pairs of footwear ( I am not counting those that are bought to be worn on special occasions.)

* To have funny animals (also called as dolls) on the bed and in the wardrobe.

* To have an exaggerated expression ( more than one at times) for everything and not ready to accept any lesser levels of human reaction from others.

* To think dogs, cats ( at times rats too) to be cute.

* To sob on looking at a scene in the movie theatre. ( It is after all a motion picture!)

In a country obsessed with MBA education, it helps to read between the lines.

In the history of Indian education, MBA is by far is the most hyped course. Partly because of the number of zeroes that follow the non zero digit in the pay cheques of students who pass out of premier institutes and mostly because, Indians as a part of their rich heritage do not 'read between the lines.'

I still vividly remember a headline that made every one crane their heads and in the process get a catch! And that was 'IIM - A post graduate gets Rs. one crore a year compensation and the average salary stands at Rs. 12 lakhs this year' I understand this one line is too appealing to miss. What is more important is to read the paragraph that follows and not stop with the headline. For, that will reveal many things that headline didn't in the first place. Here is my attempt at reading between the lines.

1. This does not mean that everyone who gets into IIM - A and successfully completes the degree gets a one crore a year compensation. This is where B-schools use the power of statistical measures to hide what lurks behind the scenes. Suppose there were 10 students who got employed through the campus recruitment process and one student gets a Rs. 1 crore + offer. Even if all the other 9 students get placed for only Rs. Two lakh a year ( which any sane kid who can speak English from a city college can get,) the average becomes a whopping Rs. 11.8 lakhs per year ( and it is only convenient to round this figure to the nearest decimal point.)

2. The candidate in discussion was not offered one crore Indian rupees to live in Indian conditions ( the Indian cost of living.) He was offered a $250,000 for a job in the US and obviously the cost of living in the US is higher than that in India. This means, the money he can save at the end of the month is so much more lesser than it looks.

3. The word compensation is often the same as the CTC and not the salary you draw. A company can may contribute huge sums of money to insurance on your behalf which you stand to benefit only if the need arises ( trust me no one wants to meet with an accident or get hospitalized just to reap the benefits of company paid insurance.) When you take away 'costs' like this from the 'Compensation' the actual salary you draw will be much lesser.

4. The person in question had completed CA, and had worked for seven years even before getting into IIM - A. It is only logical that is offered a good pay commensurate with his experience and qualification.

More importantly, the difficulty level of CAT or other competitive exams followed by the other elimination rounds ensure only the best in the country get through. These
students have already done a lot of good for themselves throughout their lives by sharpening their intellect with or without external motivation and of course preparing hard for the selection rounds. How difficult is it impart education to these people? Not very..

Now, getting to the other side of the coin. Considering the fact that there are 2000 colleges in the country that offer a full time MBA and less than 5% of the colleges can boast of a 100% placement record, is an MBA really worth it's hype is a question worth pondering over.

When you get back to your native.....

If you are a male, born in a considerably big south Indian family, in a village or town in the 80's, been a city dweller for sometime now and still unmarried, the following are bound to happen when you get back to your native after a considerable gap :

( Disclaimer : These are mere observations arising out of changes in cultural & personal attributes. Not intended to mock at anyone - just in case anyone who is referenced below gets to read this :-))

1. Your grand parents & relatives think you are not healthy any more just because you've lost your tummy fat. A toned body according to them is a sign of weakness and not health.

2. All of them think you do not take good care of your health & try making amends by taking turns to serve you heaps of rice.

3. There is always a distant cousin marrying whom the whole family except you will be happy.

4. You are expected to call every man of the previous generation uncle & every lady aunt ( in the regional language of course..)

5. People think you are crazy to keep studying well into your 20's.

6. You find it extremely difficult to have a conversation with few of your cousins who stayed back (in the village or town) for more than a couple of minutes. You wonder how on earth you spent entire summer vacations playing 'hide & seek,' 'police & thief' or 'street cricket' with them a decade back.

7. Your cousins think you are a playboy because you have many friends who are girls.

8. You are growing by leaps & bounds in life if you have managed to own a car and vice versa.

9. A government job is the best job more so because it is recession proof. You are not doing good in your career if you happen to pursue anything other than a 9-5 job.

And, last but not the least,

10. Flaunting gold is the order of the day. The more gold on your body the richer you are perceived.

Despite these difficulties and differences in perception, it is always fun to be in your native town or village*

* conditions apply!

Is Today's media responsible enough?

There is a never a dull moment in any sport and in the world of sports. Such is the magnitude of activity spread across multiple disciplines. However, not all sports are given equal attention by the media.

It is frustrating to notice that an incident as trivial as the deliberate over-stepping by Suraj Randiv to bowl a no-ball and thereby denying Virender Sehwag of a century ( in the ongoing tri-series in Srilanka) hogged the limelight in all forms of media when many more important events took place at the same time around the world. Andy Murray contributed to Federer's losing streak in the Roger's cup finals, Indian teenagers continue their dry spell in the youth Olympics in Singapore etc., More importantly, there hasn't been even one report on how the Indian contingent is preparing for the Commonwealth games which is scheduled to start in 45 days from now.

I understand media is a business by itself, (and follows the golden rule that the customer is at the centre of the business) and any piece of news is churned or reported ( however you like to call it) keeping in mind the interest of the people it is directed at. But, this is an issue that has clearly been blown out of proportion.

Randiv broke no law, did not violate any code of conduct laid down by the ICC. By publicly announcing that Randiv's act was a let down for Srilankan cricket, ( on the back drop of the fact that Srilanka has been winning the award for the 'spirit of the game' by ICC for the past two years,) the Srilankan board has let itself down. Worse is to have handed him an one ODI ban. It is concerning to note that the whole drama is because of the hype created by the media and the looming pressure on the Srilankan board by virtue of the fact the it is bankrupt and is at the mercy of BCCI!

Randiv's act was at best a mischief and nothing more. 'Spirit of the game' is such a vague concept. It is modified and accepted time and again by different sects of people. If cricketers were to follow the spirit of the game,

* Batsmen should start walking as soon as they know they are out and not wait for the umpire's decision.

* The fielding team should keep conversations with the batting team at the level of a friendly banter and not take it up to riling.

* Fielders shouldn't do their best( or rather worst) to cheat a favourable decision out of the umpires.

None of the above ever gets so much importance in the media, but this one did. Randiv walked upto Sehwag's room after the match to apologize and the story ended have ended there if it were responsible media that was covering it!

See ball.. Hit ball..

Few people make you take notice of them because of their expertise in a chosen field of endeavor, few for their their physical attractiveness. But, very few because of their very presence. One such person from the cricketing world in Virender Sehwag – fondly known as the Nawab of Najafgarh.

The purists of the game would frown at the way he plays the game and the coaches point to him to show a living example to kids on how not to play cricket – such is the lack of footwork in his game. Despite this, he is one of finest cricketers of contemporary cricket. Blessed with an uncluttered mind and operating with the simple rule ‘see ball, hit ball’ irrespective of the situation of the match, he remains a nightmare to all the bowling attacks in the world.

A normal batsman’s modus operandi is like this – you walk in to bat, get your eye in, play few defensive shots, try middling the ball, a couple of gentle pushes and jabs into the gaps to grow in confidence, few sweetly timed shots to get into the flow before starting to score in boundaries. But, with Sehwag, step 7 follows immediately after step 1. He walks in to bat and the carnage starts.

This attitude of his, spills onto press conferences too. A press conference is not a place where questions are answered directly. It is a place where one answers questions in a way that the answer cleverly eludes the question and the person who puts it forth, with a subtle attempt to come close to answering but vague enough for anyone including the person telling it to understand.

Viru has often been quoted saying things like “Bangladesh is an ordinary team, they cannot defeat India in Tests!” on the eve of a test match series. Well, it is Virender Sehwag, the swashbuckling cricketer we are speaking about. Diplomacy much like technically adept batting was in vogue!