Judgement & Classification of relationships may be the cure!

Life hinges of relationships, a wide variety of them in fact. Everyone of us have different levels of relationships we have do deal and maintain day in and day out. On the personal front we have ones ranging from parents, grand parents, siblings, spouse to cousins, aunts & uncles and friends. On the work front we have those ranging from cubicle-mates, team-mates, colleagues, people we report to, people who report to us, acquaintances and few friends too. We have many more relationships at the social level too.

It would not be an understatement to say that one, few or all these relationships decide how we live our lives. Now, let me start doing justice to the title of this write up.

The success of a relationship depends of whether the person who we are in a relationship with has been properly classified under the category we put him/her in. It is not uncommon to see two people getting along really well as friends but end up becoming a bad pair. Equally common is to see two people get along very well as acquaintances and the relationship becomes screwed up when they become friends. This list is endless irrespective of which sphere of life we are in.

And at the end of it we think "Shit.. if only I had left things at the previous level, things would have been much better!" This, I call is the typical result of improper judgement & classification of relationships. Things work out between two people only at a certain level and not necessarily at every possible level and it is this knack that decides whether a person is successful at handling relationships or not.

I am of the opinion that, this judgement as to which level of relationship to be with whom that is the cure for all the troubles arising around maintaining relationships.

Running tracker

S.no Run When Timing

1. Hyd 1ok run Nov. 2007 50 mins

2. Hyd half marathon Nov. 2008 2 hrs 30 mins

3. Half marathon Sept. 2009 2 hrs 28 mins

4. Hyd 10k run Nov. 2009 52 mins

The Hyd 10 k run - Chaotic organizing!

Though I haven't been in the best of shapes recently due to skipping training sessions for playing cricket and writing, I was in a decent enough form to compete for the first time in a long distance running event. The good news was that, more than 100 people signed up from Google, which meant we got a corporate registration. This also meant I would compete only against men from other corporates.

Having completed the 10 k run in 50 mins way back in Nov 2007 coupled with my redeemed passion for running after that, I knew I had fair chance of making it to the top 5 under the 'corporate men' category. With this confidence I headed to Necklace road with Shyam in time

( in fact ahead of time per Indian standards.)

We were all instructed to get near the stage inside the ground so that the run could commence. I was pretty happy on getting there with only few hundreds in front of me and I thought it was my day with destiny to make to the winner's list. The usual cine-stars came, spoke and got thunderous ovations for whatever they spoke.

After a couple of minutes, the MC asked everyone to get ready for the race and called upon some celebrity to flag off the race. He flagged off and no one ran. I was looking around and re-confirmed that no one ran. After a minute or so, the MC instructed everyone to head via their nearest gate to start running. Apparently, when the celebrity flagged off, people started from starting point on the road. This starting point on the road was about 200 mts from the stage and given the per sq.km density at that point in time, about 2-4k people would have been there between the stage and the starting point.

How am I supposed to know this, when clearly instructed half an hour before "Please come into the ground near the stage so that we can start off the race.?" I had to literally wrestle with so many people rushing from all sides and jump over a wall to get to the starting point at the earliest. By then there were so many hundreds converging from all directions. I for a moment wondered whether it was the 10 K run or a street wrestling event.

This pissed me off to say the least. It did much more harm than just pissing me off. There were so many people ahead of me walking at the most relaxed pace they ever could and the only thing I could do was to jog few meters, walk few meters, push few people, get pushed by many more, bump into strangers and then apologize and do everything else but run.

This continued for more than a km by which I decided, there is no way I could make a top 5 finish. The crowd cleared up after some time, I gradually picked up pace and kept the rhythm going until 9 kms after which I switched gears to finish strongly at 52 mins. ( I thought I had it in me to come with a 45-46 min finish) If only there were clear instructions as to the exact point where the race started, thing would have been different.

Shit happens!

Speak it out people!

I have been friends with Jacqueline for close to 2 years now. But, because of our busy work lives, assumptions we made about each other, the fights that arose because of this, we demoted the friendship to an acquaintanceship . But one day it struck me how stupid it was from our sides to not sort out our differences and continue maintaining a cold relationship despite the fact that we were very good friends in the making.

It took the effort of a mutual friend to tell us that we had to speak out things to re-discover the friendship. It just took close to twenty minutes of talking for us to get back on track. And hence, the miracle happened.

I am very happy that we are close to becoming the friends we were a couple of years ago. So, the moral of the story is "speak it out people!"

Review of Chetan's latest book - 2 states

Chetan Bhagat's latest book - 2 states is something that I have been waiting anxiously to read since the news of it being published became public.

Humour is Chetan's strength and he maximizes his strength throughout. If it is the typical Indian setting & the romance between two students of IIM's that makes us relate ourselves to the story and start reading the book, it is the brilliant use of wit that makes us finish reading the 270 odd pages.

The 'IIM - A' canteen is where the two central characters of the book - Krish and Ananya ( both of them students) meet each other and become friends. While Krish goes for the beauty of the girl to start socializing (with better reasons than socializing at the back of his mind,) Ananya is driven by the for the 'safe guy feeling' to socialize with him (may be even she had similar thoughts,) typically how guys and girls start becoming friends!

Ananya throws attitude at him at the beginning accusing him of trying to flirt with her (because of the confidence or rather over- confidence that she gets with over a dozen guys proposing her within the first couple of weeks in the campus, reminding us of one of those many girls we come across in our daily lives who roam around with their heads held high for the wrong reasons and throw this attitude even if they get the attention of half an eye ball! ) But, he stands his ground and maintains his self ego and more importantly self respect.

With the numerical problem solving abilities that Krish carries with him as a result of being an IIT ian, he becomes the ready made choice for Ananya to look up to. They get together and meet more often than normal classmates with 'studies' being the binding force. As the author rightly puts it, 'put a guy and a girl in a room and fill it with boring text books, sparks are sure to fly!'

Sparks fly and graduate to become fireworks with time as Ananya moves in to Krish's room. Something keeps them going for the next couple of years in IIM - may be the warmth of a companion while living away from home or the fact that they could work (study) in tandem - because of the organizing skills of Ananya and the math skills of Krish or simply the sex. They do not commit until the last few days in IIM.

Apparently by an introspective talk with god and a feeling of guilt, Krish proposes Ananya in a very dramatic way on the day on campus placements in front of representatives from HLL - where Ananya finally lands a job. Our hero Krish gets a job with Citibank as he was able to convince the employers of finding a match between his skill set and the company's objectives and opts for Chennai as that is where his damsel's family lives and also gets posted.

Krish as expected finds it difficult to get adjusted to living in the land of Tamils initially. But, once he gets his eye in (oops sorry.. cricket lingo) does a good job of adapting and wooing Ananya's family (which is a part of their plan to get married with the consent of their respective families.)

The couple then go to Punjab to execute the second phase of their plan (Ananya making Krish's family like her.) She finds the going even more difficult as according to Krish's mom, marriage is an arrangement where one finds the most appropriate price to sell one's son with considerable weight age given to the number of letters that follow his name and the prevailing market rates.

After a few days of her staying with his family, Krish takes Ananya along with him to one of his niece's weddings where Ananya's smartness comes to the fore. A combination of mis-communication and over-expectation of dowry leaves the groom's family feel cheated and the bride's family helpless. This situation brings the marriage to a standstill and only a miracle could make it happen. Through her sheer boldness and persuasive skills she convinces the groom that it is not a big deal and ensures the marriage ends with smiles on every one's face. Needless to say she immediately becomes the darling of the kith and kin of Krish's family!

Usually in movies and books written in the Indian context, only the 'Hero' gets to do such acts but the author showing the 'Heroine' making the impossible possible is commendable. This is a representation of the changing face of India were the physically stronger sex is finally appreciative of what the emotionally stronger sex can do and their impact in all spheres of life.

But, how can an Indian marriage get over so smoothly without any drama? Both the families develop a hatred towards each other when they meet. This grows into draconian proportions and leads to the break up of the couple. The usual sleeplessness, improper nutrition and beard growing rituals haunt Krish and takes him to heights like needing counseling and medication.

This is when the story takes a cinematic twist as Krish's father steps up (who otherwise has a 'I don care what happens to anyone's life other than mine,') travels all the way to Chennai and sorts out the difference between the two families with his speaking skills. This part is quite un-believable!

Re-bonding happens, the sick, unhealthy Punjabi chap turns into a handsome hunk and marries the always beautiful Ananya with the consent of both the families. The author's patriotic finishing touch that speaks about stuff like 'how does it matter whether we are from two different states, we are after all people of the same nation' makes one stand up in attention and sing 'Jana gana mana....!' which I think is a fitting tribute to a book that is a representation of an India where state borders are diminishing and the country as a whole is better unified than what it was a couple of decades back.